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October 19th, 2014

Halloween Humor - Witches Trick Or Treat In Funny Costumes

Witch flies off broomstick handle, crappy Halloween costumes & candy corns on feet cartoons.

Halloween Anger Management

  • Witch Helda holds up her broomstick and confesses to her anger management support group that she has a tendency to fly off the handle like her friend Broom-Hilda does.
  • A clown, a pirate, a cowboy and Don Diego de la Vega a.k.a Zorro walk into a home bar. Meanwhile, embarrassed by their crappy outfits, a wife dressed up as a roll of toilet paper angrily tells her turd of a husband, “Next Halloween I’m picking out the costumes for the party!” as they leave the festivities early feeling shamed and disgraced.
  • Angry that her feet always hurt, Hagatha the witch has her orange curtains covered with black spiders pulled open to let the light of the moon shine through the window to take a closer look. She needs to see clearly to pluck those nasty candy corns on her soles and between her toes to pass out as Halloween treats.

Halloween pumpkin eater, actual baby Ruth & low carb Hansel & Gretel trick or treat jokes.

Trick Or Treat Tomfoolery

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October 5th, 2014

Blood & Sand Cocktail - Scotch Whisky, Movie Parodies & The NFL

Blood & Sand cocktail with red drink as cape & glass shadow as bull in the ring.

Blood And Sand Cocktail Contains Scotch Whisky And That’s No Bull

You might expect a Spanish red wine or Sherry, Spain’s national liquor made from fortified wine, to be included in a mixed drink inspired by bullfighting. However, that’s not the case with the Blood And Sand cocktail (or Death In The Afternoon for that matter, another drink with ties to Spanish bullfighting). Its made with the unusual combination* of scotch whisky, sweet vermouth, cherry brandy and orange juice.

History Of The Blood And Sand Cocktail

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September 5th, 2014

Waterfront Cabin - Home Bar Design Hinges On View Of The Lake

Rustic lake cabin decked out with dock & boat house.

A Cabin Docks Up To The Lake

If a nautically themed home bar isn’t quite enough, then how about a watering hole right on the water? That’s what this lake cabin in upstate New York has to offer and then some.

Awning windows let bar pass thru to dock on the lake.

Bellying Up To The Bar Hinges On Hoisting Windows Up Out Of The Way

Unlike wall mounted bars with fold down counter tops, this home’s bar folds the wall up to the ceiling away from the countertop and forms a pass-through from the kitchen to the dock. A simple rope and pulley arrangement lets you hoist each side-by-side awning window up and out of the way individually by pivoting the sash on hinges along the top trim.

Learn The Ropes That Operate The Bar’s Awning Windows

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August 21st, 2014

Lynchburg Lemonade - A Sweet Southern Sip Of Tennessee Whiskey

Lynchburg Lemonade in mason jar with handles & branch of lemons.

A Southern Style Whiskey Sour Of Sorts

Lynchburg Lemonade, originally made with Jack Daniels Tennessee whiskey, triple sec, sweet & sour mix and 7-Up, is a long drink style cocktail similar to a Long Island Ice Tea and its many variations, but without the loads of liquor like in the latter. Unlike the Iced Tea(s) though, where there is no real tea in the recipe, Lynchburg Lemonade does actually contain lemonade (lemon juice, sugar and water) indirectly through the sour mix as long as its homemade and fresh squeezed lemons and limes are providing the citrus flavor.

History Of Lynchburg Lemonade

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August 6th, 2014

Barbary Coast Cocktails - Party Like Its 1899

Barbary Coast cocktails on Pacific Street in 1913.

Barbary Coast Cocktails Have Blear-eyed Men And Faded Women Drinking Vile Liquor*

Preparing Barbary Coast cocktails behind your bar at home may have you mixing up recipes like the Martinez or Pisco Punch. However, there are two cocktails actually named after the Barbary Coast in San Francisco. One (No. 2) is a drink you’ve probably never heard of. The other (No. 1) is an even earlier drink nobody else has probably ever heard of either. But, they’re both worth mining for.

Barbary Coast tour route with historic red light district on current San Francisco map.

The Red Light District

San Francisco’s Barbary Coast was a lawless red-light district in the late 19th and early 20th centuries started during the California Gold Rush of 1949 and infamous for its seedy brothels, concert saloons, dance halls, jazz clubs, opium dens and vulgar variety shows. Sailors pilfered the moniker from the region in North Africa (Algeria, Libya, Morocco and Tunisia) of the same name where the talk of pirates abound in an area also known for its predatory dive bars and houses of ill repute.

The heart of it all was Pacific Street, now Pacific Avenue (shown top), and the approximate size of the entire seething cesspool in its heyday (shown above) is overlaid on a current map running east to west from Montgomery to Stockton and north to south from Broadway to Sacramento Streets, outlined in red. Despised, feared and eventually banned back then, the Barbary Coast is now celebrated with fond memories as part of a walking tour through the city’s historic neighborhoods. Try as they may have at the time to banish it as well, Frisco, the other nickname that arose at the time and became associated with the nastiness, lives on in spirit and is another themed tipple you could order on one of the stops along this promiscuous pub crawl.

Barbary Coast Cocktail No. 2 History

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July 18th, 2014

The Cincinnati Cocktail - Puts The Nati In Natty Light Beer

Cincinnati Cocktail style light beer & bratwurst sausage sandwich.

Cincinnati Cocktails - The Original Natty Light Beer

The Cincinnati Cocktail with half beer and half soda water is not really a cocktail at all. At least not by the Old Fashioned definition, but then again, few actually are in the strictest sense of the formulation.

What it is, is a DIY Natty Light Beer. Cincinnatty that is.

History Of The Cincinnati Cocktail

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June 26th, 2014

The Affinity Cocktail - Scotch Whisky And Vermouth Find True Love

Affinity cocktail by Barina Craft poster with drink and Broadway font.

The Affinity Cocktail Pairs Scotch Affection For Vermouth

The Affinity Cocktail is one of only a few truly classic drinks mixed with Scotch whisky which shows the difficulty of pairing it in the perfect marriage. At least in spirit.

Modern versions of the Affinity Cocktail have sort of settled on a sip similar to a perfect Scotch Manhattan with orange or aromatic bitters, although the original drink recipe was hardly perfect (equal parts French and Italian vermouth). Back then it was closer to a sweetened Scottish Rory O’More or a Robert Burns with sugar instead of absinthe.

Either way, like most Scotch whisky cocktails, the character of this drink is greatly effected by how manly the mixture is. Blended may be best to begin with.

History Of The Affinity Cocktail

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June 8th, 2014

Cooking With Wine Humor – Recipes Reduce Down To Funny Jokes

Reducing the wine by drinking straight from the bottle cartoon.

Now Reduce The Wine

A husband and wife team up in the kitchen to prepare a meal. As the apron wearing wife, whose been the one sweating over a hot stove, cools down by drinking straight from a bottle of red wine, the husband leans over the island counter top while re-reading the recipe from a cook book and says, “I’m not sure that’s what they mean by now reduce the wine.”

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